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איך האָב יאָרן צעריסן,

I have torn years,

Work 378 of 440

Page 443. Continuation of 'Mayne teg': torn years 'vi men rayst shtiker kleyder' (as tears pieces of clothing) to find if world has 'seyder' (order — Hebrew 'seder'). Peace 'antrunene' (escaped) greets; makes 'gonts ale risn' (whole all tears) with 'sod gefunenem' (found secret — Hebrew 'sod'). Sun becomes 'gintsiker shomer' (sole guardian — Hebrew 'shomer'), will not set. Part V 'Yontev' (Holiday — Hebrew/Yiddish 'yom tov'): 'vent un shleser' (walls and locks), cold floorboards, 'tish un meser' (table and knife). Table 'shteyn-gefroyren' (stone-frozen). Calls years to dance. Drinks words instead of tears — unspoken yet heard. 'Trunk un shiker' (drunk and intoxicated), 'heyse shprungen' (hot leaps). Hears touch, whose finger? — realizes it's himself 'oyf an emes' (in truth). Sanatorium solitude as both prison and strange celebration.

Yiddish Original

איך האָב יאָרן צעריסן,

ווי מען רייסט שטיקער קליידער,

כדי אַליין זיך דערוויסן,

צי די וועלט האָט אַ סדר.

איצט קומט מיך באַגריסן

מיין רו מיין אַנטרונענע :

איך מאַך גאָנץ אַלע ריסן

מיט מיין סוד מיין געפונענעם.

די זון איז געקומען

זיין מיין גינציקער שומר;

די זון איז געקומען

אויף ניט צו פאַרגיין מער.

ץצ

יום טוב

' [מיטוב. = יוםדטוב.

ווענט און שלעסער.

קאַלטע דילין.

טיש און --- מעסער.

טיש -- גאַך קעלטער,

שטיין-געפרוירן :

כ'רוף צום טאַנץ אייך,

מיינע. יאָרן

אָנשטאָט וויינען --

טרינק איך ווערטעה, --

ניט געזאָגטע,

דאַך -- דערהערטע.

טרונק און שיכור.

הייסע שפרונגעז. --

אָפגעשפרונגעז,

אפגעזונגען.

כ'הער אַן אָנריר.

פינגער 1 -- וועמעס 1 --

-- ,דאָס בין איך דאך

,אויף אַן אמת.

2159

Transliteration

Ikh hob yorn tserisn,

vi men rayst shtiker kleyder,

kdey aleyn zikh dervisn,

tsi di velt hot a seyder.

Itst kumt mikh bagrisn

mayn ru mayn antrunene:

ikh makh gonts ale risn

mit mayn sod mayn gefunenem.

Di zun iz gekumen

zayn mayn gintsiker shomer;

di zun iz gekumen

oyf nit tsu fargeyn mer.

V

Yontev

Yontev. Yontev.

vent un shleser.

kalte diln.

tish un — meser.

Tish — nokh kelter,

shteyn-gefroyren;

kh'ruf tsum tants aykh,

mayne yorn.

Onshtot veynen —

trink ikh verter, —

nit gezogte,

dokh — derherte.

Trunk un shiker.

heyse shprungen. —

opgeshprungen,

opgezungen.

Kh'her an onrir.

finger? — vemes? —

— dos bin ikh dokh

oyf an emes.

English Translation

I have torn years,

as one tears pieces of clothing,

in order alone to find out,

if the world has an order.

Now comes to greet me

my peace my escaped:

I make whole all the tears

with my secret my found one.

The sun has come

to be my sole guardian;

the sun has come

to not set anymore.

V

Holiday

Holiday. Holiday.

walls and locks.

cold floorboards.

table and — knife.

Table — still colder,

stone-frozen;

I call you to dance,

my years.

Instead of weeping —

I drink words, —

unspoken,

yet — heard.

Drunk and intoxicated.

hot leaps. —

leaped off,

sung off.

I hear a touch.

finger? — whose? —

— that is me after all

in truth.

TRANSLATOR’S NOTE

Page 443. Continuation of 'Mayne teg': torn years 'vi men rayst shtiker kleyder' (as tears pieces of clothing) to find if world has 'seyder' (order — Hebrew 'seder'). Peace 'antrunene' (escaped) greets; makes 'gonts ale risn' (whole all tears) with 'sod gefunenem' (found secret — Hebrew 'sod'). Sun becomes 'gintsiker shomer' (sole guardian — Hebrew 'shomer'), will not set. Part V 'Yontev' (Holiday — Hebrew/Yiddish 'yom tov'): 'vent un shleser' (walls and locks), cold floorboards, 'tish un meser' (table and knife). Table 'shteyn-gefroyren' (stone-frozen). Calls years to dance. Drinks words instead of tears — unspoken yet heard. 'Trunk un shiker' (drunk and intoxicated), 'heyse shprungen' (hot leaps). Hears touch, whose finger? — realizes it's himself 'oyf an emes' (in truth). Sanatorium solitude as both prison and strange celebration.

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I have torn years, · H. Leivick: Complete Works · Half-Voll Attempts